Tuesday, September 23, 2014

NIYOLA -TOH BAD


Today I want to talk about a young Naija DIVA,  Eniola Akinbo, popularly known as Niyola. The first lady of EME records. She came into the music industry around 2005 in her mid-20's. But I personally didn't know of her until I watched her 'toh bad' music video which is what I will be talking about today. So if you can't already tell I have been stalking her since I knew of her. I am so fascinated by her strength as a young African woman. Each time I watch an interview or new video of her, she is so fearless, passionate about her craft, hardworking, yet so humble; which are the qualities I love in a person. Now onto the 'toh bad' music video before I ramble on.

Before you read what I want to talk about, you might want to watch the toh bad music video and carefully listen to the message it portrays, so you can better follow what I have to say.



Quick run down of the video: It tells a story of a young man, Marcus, who started from nothing with his girlfriend, Niyola. Marcus rose to fame and of course started the obanje behavior that most men have. Don't get me wrong, I know fame comes with a lot and there will always be Delilah's who will want to steal your destiny ( thats how I personally look at it) but there needs to be place where a line has to be drawn. Anyway continuing on with the story so he starts messing around with these delilah's and of course the girlfriend finds out about it through the media and her friends. She gets really upset with him, and confronts him about it, but then he buys her a Mercedes as a way of apologizing. She accepts it and quickly forgets why she was mad in the first place. Does the situation get better ? No. Of course he continues  to mess around and then it gets to the public red carpet denials, missed birthdays/anniversaries, and  finally, when asked if he was single on National TV he says he is "single and ready to mingle". Kai!! Amongst all these things she stuck with him but finally decides to leave when he publicly denies her on national TV. We think she is gone for good this time, but no, we see that she comes back at the end of the video and takes him back.

April's take on it :  As girls (and I am guilty of it) when we see diamonds, lavish cars or just expensive things in general, we forget all our morals and accept these things as a form of apology from our men. Not only did Niyola stick with Marcus amongst all of his misbehaviors but she still got back with him even after he denied her on TV. I feel like Niyola portrays a lot girls today.  These  men aint loyal at all o. They want to "eat their cake and have it". They want to have that main chick that rides for them no matter what, but also want to have side chicks who they can always mess around with. Deny their girlfriend/main chick in public but tell her that she is the 'one and only' when its just the both of them. Me sef I tire. And what sucks is that more and more men are becoming like this. I was just talking to one of my very close friends the other day and I was telling her that her last relationship was accurately described in the toh bad video, and then she said the same thing about mine . Then I started thinking of so many other people I know that had gone through the same thing. Not exactly that the boyfriends got famous, and became woman wrapper (prostitutes) , but men these days just can't be monogamous. And we women are letting them. I can't speak on all women but as women , when we love, we love hard. We tend to put our hearts before our head. Niyola got a lot of backlash as to why she went back to Marcus at the end of the video. But I honestly feel like she truly loved him unconditionally, and in reality that is what most people will do. We all have that one man we always run back to no matter how much they have hurt us physically and emotionally. Do I support her? No. These men need to be know that we women are diamonds and should be treated as such. That being said, women think with your head not your heart. Let these men know that they can't eat their cake and have it. If you have to, show them pepper by completely ignoring them, let them know what you will and will not tolerate in the relationship, and when they cross that line completely cut them off. That way, they will realize what they have, come running back, and will do everything not to mess it up again. Trust me, you will stand out among other women who will do anything to get their attention.