20 Things you need to know in your 20's : relationships, sex, money, career, etc


1.You’re expected to be 100% independent: #keyword 'expected' lol..I remember when my best friend and I were in the 12th grade (SS3) we would always say that the next time we see each other after college (at 22) we would greet each other in our range rovers. Fast-forward 5 years later, we greeted each other in a Keke na pep and we were still living in our parents house ...lol how ironic. It’s crazy how in high school you think you will be your own boss after you graduate college but it never quite happens like that.

2. A lot of wrong decisions will be made: Countless times you will make very foolish decisions, and some you will regret. But always remember to pick yourself up, it’s not the end of the world. There is a quote I love by my favorite pastor Joel Osteen he says “there is a reason the rear view mirror in your car is very small compared to your windshield, its because what is behind you is very small compared to what is in front of you”…. This leads me to my next point

3. Pick a career you love:  I know this may be easier said than done but it is so true. Reflect on how you felt all the times you did something because you loved doing it vs how you felt when you didn’t. That’s how you should also feel when pick your career, feel great and passionate about it. ClichĂ© but follow your heart, it never stirs you wrong.

4. If you decide to pursue a career in the creative world, you’ll get a lot of NO’s but be patient because you will eventually get as many YES’s as you’ll get NO’s.



5. Travel around the world (adventure): Travel while you’re still young. I don’t even plan on having kids right after I get married because I would love to keep travelling the world with my partner.  It doesn’t get better than seeing the world through the eyes of other people x cultures. It’s an amazing feeling.  So far I have the Maldives, the whole of South Asia and the Bahamas on my radar. What about you ?

6. Once you clock 25 you feel like a grandma: O gosh! Lol I turn 25 next year and all I can think of is “grandma alert”  But I need to keep pushing that thought away, lol I know I am not the only one, abi ?



7. Pressure to get married: I swear every time I talk to my mom, she mentions marriage. “ Nne, I got married at 21” “You know I had your older brother at 24” “I was done having children by 29”, etc. Who else experiences this? If you do please how do you deal with this? Hi am tired.
But seriously please don’t let the pressure get to you. First, marriage is not for everyone, don’t force it and make a terrible mistake. If you’re going to jump the broom do it because you really want to, not because of what anyone is saying about time or your age.

8. Get your annual physicals: Yes! Ladies please please make sure to get your physicals done. Your 20’s is when you start to see some kiya kiya changes on your body so make sure to get your physicals done. Your physicals consists of: blood pressure, heart rate, thyroid gland, ear, breasts, and a pelvic exam where the doctor literally puts her hand in your vagina to check for any abnormal growth which may lead to ovarian cancer, painful but worth it.

9. Mechanic wahala: I already mentioned this in my “ Myths Nigerians believe about Nigerians in the US” here, but I would like to reiterate it. Especially as a woman, mechanic wahala can get really annoying. Most mechanics also try to rip us off because they feel we don’t now anything about cars. Shine your eye.

10. A lot of friendships will come and go but it’ll lead you to the ultimate friends: I can’t say this one enough, but please just always remember this. Don’t worry your head about the many friendships that will go down the drain, because new ones will be made and you will eventually end up with the one’s that were meant to be in your life. The ones that are meant to stay in your life will stick around through thick and thin.


11. Your friend can betray you because of a guy: Hmm not that this one has happened to me personally but I have heard this from many friends. Any ‘friend’ that does this should definitely have no place in your life.

12. Boyfriends will come and go: I mean BeyoncĂ© already schooled us on this, just “tell em boy bye” and keep it moving. Don’t stress yourself baby girl. Plenty more will come.

13. Your period may not be as frequent as normal compared to your teenage years:
This is true, especially for those of you that are getting it in…lol just be careful sha but if your period does happen to be a few days late ‘don’t panic’ and rush to the nearest drug store to get a pregnancy test. It may just happen to be late that month or it could be other medical issues.

14. Abortions Abortion Abortions: This might be controversial, but as an an avid prochoice advocate, I say do what you gotta do to get your life together. It’s your choice. If you feel you need to do this to move forward in life then so be it.  We all make mistakes and it’s totally up to you if you want to live with it or decide not to bring a child you’re not ready to take care of into this world.
 
Onto a brighter topic,

15. You truly find your style: O yess preach…lol when I look back at my teenage pictures; the glow up is real man. I can’t believe how much I have changed since going into now my mid 20’s. So if you are a teenager reading this and struggling with your personal style, don’t worry change is coming okay!

16. You sharpen your cooking skills: Don’t judge, I can already feel you judging me as you read this but I didn’t learn how to cook until my 20’s. I really didn’t. I was very much a late bloomer when it comes to cooking but try me now. I will murder you in any cooking contest...lol

17. You spend your life savings on hair and makeup: Sometimes I just wonder what would have happened if I never started watching YouTube beauty videos. It was definitely the start of the downfall of my bank account. I would be balling so hard by now if I could get back every single dime I have spent on makeup and Brazilian hair.



18. Build Build Build!! I wish I knew this earlier, but instead of spending all your money on Brazilian hair and clothes learn to save that money so you can build something tangible with it. It could be a small business, starting a blog or buying shares. This leads me to my next point,

19. For guys, No money No girl: All that posing on IG with fine clothes is all good but that shit gets old if you no get money for your pocket. It’s so unattractive to me when I meet a guy that only cares about girls, parties, smoking, and clothes. Like there is more to life honey, and nobody will give a damn about your good looks with no money in your pocket. So worry about your bank account before you worry about going down on a chicks dm.Why do you think lil Wayne gets the finest girls, think about it.

Finally,

20. Make yourself a happy person: With all the changes that are going to happen; friendship, relationship and career wise. It is easy to become a miserable person especially when things don’t go the way you wanted them to. It is very imperative to take control of your emotions at this age because character built in your 20’s tends to stay with you forever.  Even if the happiness doesn’t want to come, force it. Nobody wants to deal with a miserable, moody, unhappy person. So this is a very important point, which is why I made it my last and final point.

Oya your turn, Let me know what you think of these points, did any of them resonate with you? What have you had to learn in your 20's ? Please let me know in the comment section below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.


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